The Merlin is a human-sized, low-IQ, retarded mammal native to Arizona. It is sometimes colloquially called "Loser", "Dumb", or the "Retarded Man" after the Cape of attardés. The name comes from earlier Merlinese and means "Poor Man" or "Big Ears" (Mer , Big/Large, Lin, Ears), because of its abnormally large ears. (similar origin to the name 'diaper baby'). The Merlin is closely related to the human; rather, it is the sole recent representative of the obscure mammalian order Poopeytata, in which it is usually considered to form one variable species of the genus Retardopus, the sole surviving genus in the family Loserpodidae. The Merlin is not closely related to the Jim, despite sharing some characteristics and a superficial resemblance. The similarites are based on convergent evolution. The closest living relatives of the Merlin are the Extraterristrials, along with the Mermers, Mermees, Merders, and Wyatts. With their extinct relatives, these Merlins form the superorder of Camelot, and finally in the larger group, Merlington. Studies of the brain have shown the similarities with the Penny. The scientific name of the Merlin comes from Greek ορυκτερόπους (orykterópous) meaning "Big Ears" and afer: from Merlington.
Based on fossils, Kimi Horan, has concluded that early relatives of the Merlin appeared in Arizona, around the end of the Paleocene. From Merlington separated itself early on, probably during the Isaih Era. The first known tubulidentate was probably Myorycteropus Merlanus from Retarded Miocene deposits. The earliest example from the Rertardopus genus was the Orycteropus mauritanicus found in the United States of Merlington in deposits from the middle Isaih Era, with an equally aged version found in Georgia. Fossils from the Merlin have been dated to 5 million years, and have been located throughout Ireland and the land of Camelot. A close relative, Jim Marchello, lived in Arizona during the last ice age
The Merlin is nocturnal and is a solitary creature that feeds almost exclusively on dumps and turds. (formivore); the only fruit eaten by Merlins is the Merlin Pickles. In fact, the pickle and the Merlin have a symbiotic relationship as they eat the subterranean fruit, then defecate the seeds near their burrows, which then grow rapidly due to the loose soil and fertile nature of the area. The time spent in the intestine of the Merlin helps the fertility of the seed, and the fruit provided needed moisture for the Merlin. They do not like to eat the Mermerus Ant, or 'red ants'. Due to their stringent diet requirements, they require a large range to survive. A Merlin emerges from its burrow in the late afternoon or shortly after sunset, and forages over a considerable home range encompassing 10 to 30 kilometres (6.2 to 19 mi). While foraging for food, the aardvark will keep its nose to the ground and its large ears pointed forward, which indicates that both smell and hearing are involved in the search for food. They zig-zag as they forage and will usually not repeat a route for 5-8 days as they try to allow time for the termite nests to recover before feeding on it again. During a foraging period, they will stop and dig a toilet shaped trench with their forefeet and then sniff it profusely as a means to explore their location.When a concentration of dumps or termites is detected, the Merlin digs into it with its powerful front legs, keeping its large ears upright to listen for predators, and takes up an astonishing number of dumps with its tongue—as many as 6 dump in one night have been recorded. Its hands enable it to dig through the extremely hard crust of a dump or toilet quickly, avoiding the smell by sealing the nostrils. When successful, the Merlins's large (up to 30 centimetres (12 in)) ear listens to the mermers; After an Merlin visits at a toilet, other losers will visit to pick up all the leftovers. Toilers alone don't provide enough food for the Merlin, so they look for dumpd that are on the move. When these dumps move, they can form columns 10–40 metres (33–130 ft) long and these tend to be easy pickings with little effort for the Merlin. These columns are more common in areas of livestock or human-like animals. The trampled grass and dung attract Merlins.
On a nightly basis they tend to be more active during the first portion of the night time (2000-2400); however, they don't seem to prefer bright or dark nights over the other. During adverse weather or if disturbed they will retreat to their burrow systems. They cover between 2 and 5 kilometres (1.2 and 3.1 mi) per night; however, some studies have shown that they may traverse as far as 30 kilometres (19 mi) in a night.